Introduction

Yes, it's another blog.
One man sitting at his keyboard writing his thoughts into empty space.
I used to write fiction, but I ran out of stories. I used to journal, but it was too much like doing homework that I knew wasn't going to be graded.

No expression is created in a vacuum, so why have I decided to put yet another one of these things on the web? Mostly because I have several firm opinions that are going soft in my head because I keep forgetting why I have them. More on that later. I have been actively avoiding blogging up till now because I thought of it as one more aspect of hipster-ism I might have to defend in public. I could always say "At least I don't have a blog!" and now that's not true. But I have finally caved in as a result of an hours-long discussion with my preacher earlier this week and and hours-long perusal of some atheist literature yesterday. The fact of the matter is I need somewhere to externalize my thoughts and (potentially) get some feedback I haven't heard before. I do not intend for this to be a "religious blog" but that's going to be the subject of another post soon after this introduction because that's what's on my mind today.

If you are reading this, what you can expect from me
- Some rambling, disorganized thoughts.
- Some existential questions I can't answer
- Me to be on the defensive at all times. I've been criticized in arguments for being unable to pick a side because my natural impulse is to jump to the defense of whoever's being attacked at that moment. I like to say "I won't enter a fight to help either side win, but to force both sides to stop."
- Quotations like that one, either from me or other people. I have a rather large notebook of collected sayings over the years that do a lot to inform my personal philosphies.
- Contradictions. I change my mind. I believe it's healthy. I may well argue for one thing in one post and its opposite in another. More on that later as well.
- I'm going to try to keep my language from being rough on the sensiblities. There's no lack of cursing on the Internet and I agree with the idea that words are neither good nor bad except by context, but you never know who might be reading - my parents, my boss, a congressional appointments committee in 30 years...

Now, that "later" business
Part of the reason I want to externalize my thoughts to get something of an objective view on them is that I am bipolar, with hallucinations and delusions besides. I have learned to cope over the years with a few various techniques, and one of the things journaling used to provide was the opportunity to view my thoughts later when I was in a different mood and re-evaluate them. I have learned to accept that I may not be right on any given subject, and usually when everyone I know is in agreement I have to assume they're right, even if I don't like what they're saying. Because of this, sometimes I forget the good opinions I have and the reasons behind them if I'm in a group of people who all disagree.

The second reason is, I have a lot of opinions that are far from what I view as standard in America and the world today and I have a lot complex, uncommon, and detailed reasons behind them. If I get caught up in some sort of philosophical or controversial debate, handing them a link address and saying "read this and then we'll talk" is a lot faster and much less tiresome than saying the same long speeches over and over again to various people I barely know.