I have waited a to write this post, in fact waited a week from the incident that set me off, to make sure I could write it as calmly and analytically as I could, and also to make sure I still wanted to write something that might be so inflammatory.
I have seen and heard the song Blurred
Lines discussed a few times, and I stayed out of most of those
discussions because they get so nasty – people insulting each other
non-stop over the lyrics. I've tried to refrain from referring to the
song as art, but what's at issue here is personal interpretation of a
performance, which is generally regarded as an artistic medium even
if the song in this case is pretty trashy.
I'm not going to waste a bunch of time
arguing about whether or not it's a good song, but when I first heard
it last July (in my work truck, on my way to a stop) I couldn't
understand the lyrics and just thought it was a catchy tune. It's so
rare for me to find a hip-hop song I can listen to because they
usually have the pounding bass lines that give me a headache and the
lyrics are usually much more graphic than this song.
After I learned what the lyrics were, I
thought it was a pretty cool song about self-restraint – the guy's
in a club and he sees a girl he really, really wants, and despite how
hot she is and how he can't help fantasizing about doing demeaning
stuff to her, he knows she's a good girl, and besides she's there
with someone else, so he keeps his hands to himself and just
fantasizes about what he'd like to do. He has to live with the
Blurred Lines of what he wants to do and what he knows he has to do.
It was December before I heard there
was another interpretation, and that was about rape. Here's
where the real-life lines start blurring, because rape is a
horrible thing and people (meaning men, almost exclusively) shouldn't
be doing it. So I get why the people who interpret it as a song about
rape don't like that and wish it wasn't such a popular song.
Here's where things got personal – a
good friend of mine, who I've known since childhood, shared something
comparing the lyrics of the song to words actual rape victims heard
from their rapists. I'm not sure why someone's looking for things
said to rape victims and seeing if they match song lyrics, but they
found their Wizard of Oz for this Dark Side of the Moon.
Here it is, for reference
http://www.psmag.com/culture/mouths-rapists-lyrics-robin-thickes-blurred-lines-66569/
Where I got involved in the discussion
was when I asked her what course of action she recommended, with a
popular song she and others deemed to be about rape. Her words: “I
just want people not to be blinded by the catchyness (sic) of the song and
to understand what its (sic) actually about. He's not
flattering her. He's not being sexy. Hes (sic) NOT sexy. He's
being a misogynistic jerk. Perhaps if people understood the theme it
wouldn't be quite so popular. But then again.... most all of rap
culture dis-respects (sic) women and those songs are still
loved. Still I can;t (sic) help but feel people don't totally
understand that theyre (sic) singing about rape. Honestly I
didnt (sic) really get the song until i read this article.”
My first though was based on the last
sentence she typed – this isn't actually her interpretation. It's
the one she got from reading the online article. Even though she may
not have had this opinion before, she was pretty emotionally invested
in her new one. Look at the words she used - “Perhaps if people
understood the theme” “to understand what it's actually about”
“people don't totally understand that they're singing about rape”.
As far as she's concerned, this is the only interpretation. The song
is about rape. Period. I didn't, and still haven't, told her about
my own interpretation, because it's such a hot discussion and I
didn't want to ram directly against the current. Here's what I did
say back:
“I get that it's misogynistic and
jerky, but I've been wondering why it's such a big deal. Like you
said, most rap or hip-hop songs by male performers about women are,
and really most of them are worse - Unless I missed it, he never goes
through with his thoughts in the song. So I guess I don't understand
why I'm hearing about this one song for the third time when there are
so many others to choose from.”
Her response? “Because this one is
more popular and its (sic) more so about rape than just women
objectification. Even the title "Blurred Lines" has to do
with the sexual consent vs rape issue and the whole song is FILLED
with a little thing called victim blaming. Maybe you should look that
up if you dont (sic) know what it is. Also i think the music
video has a lot to do with it. Apparently it was one of the most
risque videos yet on TV.”
And the one that provoked me to write
this whole thing: “If you can't see whats (sic) wrong with
that song after comparing it to quotes other peoples (sic)
rapists/molesters have said to them (the lyrics and the quotes are
one in the same) then there is really no hope for you.”
There you have it – Because I don't
agree with her interpretation, and am apparently too stupid to know
what victim blaming is, there's no hope for me. I'm just as bad as
the guy who wrote the song in the first place.
Is this acceptable? Can two people not
have different interpretations of a performance and still be friends?
Is that really where we are in 2014? Something another friend of mine
posted from the Duck Dynasty boys in the past week comes to mind –
that we can love someone without agreeing with every little thing
they say and do. I've noticed that over the past few years people's
opinions have gotten more and more tied up in pop culture – this
entire post is about a discussion of a popular song and I just
referenced a popular TV show I've never even seen – but why has it
reached this level?
Emotions are so tied to what we see and
hear that childhood friendships are in danger because two people
don't hear a song the same way? I don't know if I like this world. I
don't know if there's anything we can do to change it. But if you
have some ideas, now would be the time to start putting them into
practice. Because in another few years, no one's going to care what
you have to say if you don't like the same movies they do.
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